Guest List Without Stress: Who May Come and Who Not?

We present you with proven strategies for selecting your guests, give tips on dealing with expectations from family and friends, and show you how to handle an 'A and B list' fairly. Learn how to draw clear lines without burning bridges and why digital management of the guest list will save your life. Put an end to the headache and find your ideal guest constellation.

Before you write down names, define the framework. Do you want to invite everyone you've ever met, or do you want a small, exclusive circle of your closest confidants? Both have their charm.

A large celebration with 150+ guests offers incredible energy and party mood, but requires a significantly higher budget and more complex logistics. A small wedding (under 50 people) allows for deeper conversations and a more personal atmosphere. Be aware: per guest, you must expect total costs of 100 to 250 euros depending on the region and claim. So if you cross 10 people off the list, you save a four-digit sum immediately. Think carefully about whether the presence of a certain person is worth this amount to you.

Start with a 'brainstorming'. Write down everyone you can think of. Then sort. A helpful method is dividing into circles:

• Circle 1: closest family (parents, siblings, grandparents) and best friends.
• Circle 2: close friends, godparents, uncles, and aunts.
• Circle 3: cousins, work colleagues, acquaintances from clubs.
  
  Check every name with the 'one-year rule': have you spoken to or met this person in the last year? If not, they are probably not a must for the wedding. Another question: would you go out to dinner with this person tonight and pick up the tab? If the answer is no, they should perhaps not be on the list. Stay consistent – exceptions often lead to the list swelling uncontrollably.

Often parents have clear ideas about who 'must' be invited – especially if they are co-financing the wedding. This can lead to conflicts.

A proven way is to allow the parents a fixed contingent of places (e.g., 10 places per pair of parents). Within this contingent, they can decide whom they want to have there. This way you maintain control over the total number but give the parents a say. Be clear in your communication. Explain why you decided on a certain framework. Most people understand if you state financial or spatial limits of the location as a reason. It's your day, and you should surround yourself with people you feel comfortable with.

It is completely normal to keep a replacement list (B list). If people from the first selection (A list) cancel, you can invite guests from the B list.

To ensure this doesn't appear impolite, timing is crucial. Send Save-the-Date cards only to the A list. You then send the invitations out at different times. As soon as a cancellation comes in, an invitation goes out to someone from the B list. Make sure that friends from the same circle are not on different lists – this comes out sooner or later and ensures a bad mood. Professional digital management helps you track the status of each invitation in real time and react immediately when places become free.

Forget Excel spreadsheets or handwritten lists. In the hot phase of planning, when responses trickle in daily, you need a system that thinks along.

At SavePaper.work, you can manage your guest list centrally. Record not only names but also:

• Contact Data: for sending invitations and thank-you notes.
• RSVP Status: who has accepted, who has declined?
• Meal Requests: allergies, intolerances, or vegetarian wishes.
• Overnight Stay: who needs a room?
• Gifts: note directly who gave what – this enormously facilitates later thank-yous.
  
  Through digital recording, you have the current numbers for catering and the seating arrangement ready at all times. It saves time, reduces error sources, and spares the nerves.